I managed to make it 20 months with Asher without any poop incidents too overwhelming. Today we encountered a shitdown so heinous that a normal person would consider resigning their job if faced with cleaning it up; but I’m the mom and unfortunately can’t quit my job, so I cleaned it.
The Story of the Poopocalypse
Asher woke up at 7:45 today (late for him). I was in my room nursing Elsie so I didn’t get to his room till almost 8. He had gotten out of bed to read and play with some toys. I entered the room to find him standing in his bottom dresser drawer while looking in a higher drawer (little monkey loves to climb and explore). I walked in to the room and greeted him with the usual “good morning”s when I stepped in something squishy. When I looked down, I saw poop on my foot. “Oh well,” I thought, “shit happens”. Then it dawned on me that if it was on the carpet…it was likely coming from the child. The child playing in the drawer of CLEAN CLOTHES THAT I JUST WASHED OMG. I looked at Asher and was horrified to see thick gravy-consistency green poop all down his leg and now on his clean shirts. A quick glance around the room revealed more shit on the carpet and the rocking chair in his room (that rocking chair used to be my grandfathers…). After saying many sentence enhancers (aka profanities) in my head, I picked up Asher as if he were a bomb and kept him as far away from me as possible while carrying him to the bathtub where I stripped him & hosed him off before letting him play in the bath.
Next…was the room clean up. After clearing all the shirts out of the drawer and adding them to the laundry, I noticed that there was shit painted on the drawer! Turns out Asher is a real Fecal Picasso. I did an initial wipe down of every surface in the room with a baby wipe and hurried back to dry off/dress the child (in a diaper only because THERE ARE NO CLEAN SHIRTS) and dropped him off in the living room with some food and Mickey Mouse Clubhouse so I could go after his room with the Clorox Wipes and Little Green Bissell Vac. No turd left behind!
Thankfully, things are clean again and the balance restored. We survived the Poopsplosion of July 2012.