One Day I’ll Post Asher’s Birth Story, But Not Today. Pseudo-Single Mom: Week One

As some of you may be aware, my husband is a Marine. As such, he occasionally has to do crazy things like leave for periods of time for deployments/training/because the Corps told him to. This is one of those times.

Matt is away for training in beautiful San Diego for a month (I’m not jealous or anything) and I’m in Pensacola, which is currently so hot that the Devil would consider his home air conditioned in comparison. I figured “this won’t be so hard…it’s only a month” until I realized that we are being restationed in July so I must find a way to get the house ready to rent out and move WHILE SINGLE PARENTING A VERY ACTIVE ALMOST 7 MONTH OLD…crap. So I called in reinforcements to help me out.

Here’s week one’s recap…so far. (My thoughts through all of this are in italics)

Sunday (day one):
– Take Matt to the airport. Watch him go through security while holding Asher (who is screaming DA DA DA DA DA DA! and breaking our hearts). ::deep breath:: I can do this.
– For my first Single Mom task, I head to Lowes to pick up replacement air filters for our AC. That wasn’t so bad. Heck, I can totally do this single parenting thing!
– Get home, walk up to our porch while holding a sleeping Asher and air filters, and realize that when Matt locked our (very old) front door that he hadn’t rotated the key fully and now it’s jammed and won’t completely unlock. Maybe I didn’t do it right. Try again. Nope…SHIT. At this point I (mildly) panicked. Unfortunately I couldn’t reach the locks to unlock the back gates while holding the sleeping baby, which led to me then having to figure out WTF do I do with a sleeping infant when it’s hotter than hades outside and I need to go hop the back gate and WWWWHHHHYYYY haven’t I fixed the back gate like I said I would?! WHY WHY WHY?! UGH. ::pout:: So I took the baby to the car, got in and turned it on and cried for 5 minutes. Then I laid him down in the drivers seat (he would’ve woken up in the car seat), locked the car, and SPRINTED to the back gate. I pulled myself up the 6.5′ gate and hurled my body over (mental note-do more upper body exercises), sprinted to the back door, unlocked it, ran through the house, and then got the kid out of the car to find he was still asleep! YAY! Something went right.
– Mommy had a drink to end that day

Monday (day two):
– After a night where Asher was up and down 3 times (UGH TEETHING), I brought him to bed to cuddle at 6am. Usually I can coerce him back to sleep for an hour (mommy is not a morning person). At about 7ish I got up to use the restroom (bathroom is connected to our bedroom), leaving Asher in the center of our bed. I’m out of the room not 30 seconds when I head ::BAMTHUDWWAHHHHHHHHH:: and I launched myself off the toilet (mid-pee) to find him on his belly on the ground. I picked him up and examined him thoroughly (ribs/appendages/pupils equal and reactive/etc) and there was nothing (thank goodness!). At this point I realized my pants were still down. Yay.
– The rest of the day was rather uneventful. Not that I’m complaining, I think that morning was enough to age me 20 years.

Tuesday (day three):
– Our day began considerably later, at 7am, when I heard Asher babbling from the monitor. I thought the monitor was playing tricks on me, but I swore I heard “MA MA MA MA”. I mosey into his room to find that he was in fact saying MAMA! Ah yes, finally this single parenting thing has found a perk! Day=Made

Wednesday (day four):
– Took my little boo with me to the car dealership to get the oil changed. Turns out that Wednesday is ladies day at our dealership, which means free manicure/massage/chick-fil-a! SCORE! Of course I only took the food as there was nowhere to plop kiddo, because I’m a responsible parent! The fun happened when I had to breastfeed. I became the waiting room Pariah for flopping my tit out and feeding my child (note: if you’ve ever seen me breastfeed, it’s extremely discrete and I’m always wearing two layers of clothing so I can cover baby with one and my skin with the other). One lady legitimately gave me a hardcore stink eye and then got up and left the room! CRAZY. The rest of them were whispering to each other. One mom gave me a knowing nod as if to say “you go girl, I did it too!” and one mom explained to her two curious sons what breastfeeding is. I figure communication begins education, so I was strangely flattered by my “Scarlet A” status. A twitter friend pointed out that perhaps that bitch wasn’t giving me a stink eye, and instead had an eye infection, to which I did her a disservice by not offering to squirt some milk in her eye to clear it up.
In summary: Twitter is awesome.
– The rest of the day was spent with Asher’s favorite person in the world, Kat. Followed by dinner with Kat and his other favorite person, Theresa. Seriously, that kid was in heaven. And he tried some Taziki dip as well as hummus (and seemed to like them).

Thursday (day five): HELP ARRIVES!
– So. Freaking. Happy. My father has arrived so we can now get cracking on fixing up the minor things around the house, and getting the house ready to move/rent! AND I HAVE SOMEONE TO WATCH ASHER SO I CAN HAVE A GLORIOUS NAP!!!!!!!!!!!!
– Dinner with our pals, the Goldsteins, to say goodbye to Maddie/Alex/Gab since they’re leaving on Friday to move to Texas. Military life sucks in this regard, because good friends come and then have to leave. 😦 Asher had a great time at dinner, he kept trying to imitate things that Alex and Maddie did, making us all laugh.

Friday/Today (day six):
– For the first time ever, Asher signed with intent! His word was “mama” and he did it twice while at lunch! I’ve seen him try to do this the past few days, but it really seemed like he understood what he was saying for once!
– Asher’s auntie Theresa sent him two children’s books authored by Julie Andrews! 😀 A fabulous surprise.

Week one summary: And that’s where we stand for now, folks. Single parenting is really difficult and exhausting. This is made worse because I definitely sleep better with my husband in our bed as well, so I’m not sleeping well. Thankfully, Matt tries to Skype with us each night at dinner so he can be there to “feed” Asher his latest puree. Our awesome friends, and now my father, have been such a great help so far. I honestly do not know how any parent truly single parents without an army of people loving and supporting them.

So as of week now things are going fairly well, but I’m on the lookout for the Murphy’s law visit to the ER. We all know it’ll happen, it’s just a question of when…and why (cause, ya know, dad is visiting and we’re both so alike we may get stabby…)


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