Elsie Anne joined our family one week ago today, on May 9th at 5:41am. Her tubby little bum was 7lbs 3oz, 20in long & a 13.5in noggin that tested the limits of my chocha. She is wonderful and perfect!! Matt & I are currently enjoying as many snuggles as possible between her and her brother.
Life? It’s pretty dang good right now.
I was going to continue my “mom” series today by doing a synopsis of the second trimester (if you didn’t catch the first trimester, just see the post before this one), but I caught some feelings I need to get off my engorged chest. Also, I’m procrastinating writing a letter of appreciation about someone awesome that I don’t want to sound disingenuous, so I’m taking frequent breaks.
To the mind chamber!
As of tomorrow I’ll be 39 weeks pregnant. Awesome. At this point last pregnancy I was doing all the voodoo to induce labor (and he still wouldn’t show up for 2 more weeks). This time? I’m doing everything I can do to stop/discourage labor, as Matt isn’t due home till May 2nd. Oh how funny that we’ve come full circle!
(Warning: Paragraph may contain TMI. Skip to the safety parenthesis if you’re anti-vagina)At my last appointment I was slightly freaked out at the ease of which my midwife was able to check my cervix. You see, my cervix is like the rabbit hole Alice fell down, in the sense that it’s up high and far back, which isn’t like her rabbit hole at all, but I’m sure it has tea & cake ready for those who enter. Because it’s a lady. So usually a cervix check involves the checker having to remove their watch because my lady garden may eat it. I also usually wince with discomfort at this part, since I’m not exactly used to being fisted. Last Thursday my midwife was easily able to check my cervix and I still saw his wrist. AND I was calmly talking/joking with him and the nurse while he was doing it with NO WINCING AT ALL OMG. This means my cervix has dropped already. Fantastic for when labor starts (it took a bagillion hours with Asher to get that debutante to the ball), but not so great if you’re looking to avoid labor for a week.
Current stats: Dilated 2cm, 50% effaced, baby/cervix at -1 station (aka falling out). All AWESOME if you were looking to start this labor party soon, but a tad scary if you’re looking to keep your legs closed and hold a piece of aspirin between them. Did I mention my midwife could touch the baby’s head? Cause he could.
(Safety Parentheses aka vagina free from here on out)
As a result, I’ve restricted myself to bedrest, baths, and headstands until Matt is home. This means that Asher now spends 90% of the day with Poppie. I’m having horrible mommy guilt over it. Logically speaking, though, my son isn’t suffering at all. In fact, he’s being spoiled rotten. Sure, he’s watching a little more TV than I’d like, but it’s not like he’s turning savage. With his Poppie, Asher gets to go to the park daily, reads books, plays with bubbles and his red car, and gets lots of bananas. (Seriously, my kid is a freak for bananas). They’re getting special time together that I got with my grandfather as a kid and treasure always. I’m happy for that.
I just feel guilty because I know I only have days left to spend with just me and Asher. Soon he won’t be the “only”. Soon I’ll have to balance meeting the needs of two tiny humans and still making special time for him. I love that now I have the luxury of holding him at night when he wakes from a nightmare and helping fight them away by rocking him and caressing his hair. I love my little snuggle man. Will I still get this special time after Ladybug comes? Will he hate me for a while? Will he still occasionally crawl into my lap and get so comfy reading a story with me that he falls asleep?
I guess it’s normal to worry about screwing up your older kid when having a second one. It’s all unknown. I’m just trying to sort out how to show Asher he’s still just as loved, even with his baby sister around. And even moreso-I’m trying to find ways to spend time with him in our final days together before his sister joins the clan.
Mama guilt, it’s more powerful than Catholic guilt.
All I really can do is snuggle Asher as much as possible until Ladybug gets here, then find a way to still get that special time (even though I’ll be zombiefied like woah). Any tips from those of you who have ventured into the two-kids-or-more territory and survived without them stabbing you in your sleep?
(Next post will be on the 2nd trimester, I promise!!)
Seeing as I’m currently attempting to procrastinate making my shopping list for freezer meals, you are in for a treat. I’ve finally sat down to write those posts I’ve talked about! Well…at least one of them, anyway.
Class, today’s lesson is related to pregnancy, specifically the First Trimester. This is geared more toward first-timers, but I suppose it’ll work for everyone. Oh…and dads TOTALLY need to read this. Possibly.
When you first find out you’re expecting, even if you were trying, your reaction will be “HOLYSHITOMGWTFDOIDONOW?!”. Doubt that? All three times I’ve been pregnant I’ve had that reaction and I can assure you that not all of those were products of “trying”.
So…congrats! You have just discovered your egg met a nice sperm and they’ve decided to make a life together. Mazel Tov! Once you’ve stopped freaking out about the fact that you can barely commit to a facewash for more than 6 months-so how the heck are you going to raise a child?; here’s an overview of what to expect this trimester, things you’ve got to do/decide, and some fun stuff for shiggles. Enjoy!
(Note: All views expressed are my own. Experiences may vary.)
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Medical Tests to Expect: At least two blood draws- The first to confirm the pregnancy & the second to test you for a whole list of things (STDs, hormone levels, blood counts, iron count, your quad screen, etc).
Also included in this trimester is a sonogram, usually around 9wks. The reason it’s later in the trimester is due to several factors, but the main one is that the heartbeat isn’t usually seen on a sonogram before then. Since the rate of miscarriage is rather high (1 in 5 pregnancies) in the first trimester, the sonogram is a useful tool in determining everything is going well with the pregnancy.
What You’ll Really Feel Like: If you’re lucky, you’ll only be a little tired and have to pee a lot. More often than not you’ll feel like you’re a hungover narcoleptic. Hold on to the knowledge that usually this is a good sign of a solid pregnancy and that this phase DOES pass. The constant urination, aches, nausea, & exhaustion do ease up for most a few weeks into the second trimester.
Mommy’s Little Helpers: For exhaustion-throw in a nap if you can, or try going to bed earlier. Consider it training for the life you’ll lead for at least the first 2 years of your kid’s life. For nausea-peppermint candies work very well, as does anything ginger. You can buy “preggy drops” which are basically ginger candies that are sour flavored. For aches-try a few warm baths (warm not HOT) with epsom salts to draw out the ache. Some advise against this, but logically speaking your cervix is closed up tight so a bath will not endanger the fetus. For peeing all the time-just suck it up and know you’ll have intimate knowledge of the inner workings of buildings all across town due to your unique condition.
Diet: Contrary to popular belief, you’re not “eating for two”. I mean, you are, but that baby isn’t bigger than a grain of rice so put the tub of Ben and Jerry’s down! Pregnant women don’t need more than 300 extra calories a day, and that’s if you were on a regular 2000 calorie diet in the first place. Really look at what you’re eating. Now is a GREAT time to revamp your diet. The best diet while pregnant is one with portion control, lots of lean protein, & low sodium. Make sure you are drinking TONS of water, too. Your pee should look like run off from an iceberg. Not only will eating right and drinking more help your pregnancy, but it’ll also give you a little more energy as well. Oh, and this doesn’t mean you can’t enjoy donuts/cupcakes/ice cream, just pay attention to the portion size and frequency-MODERATION is your friend!
As a diet recommendation, look into the Dr. Brewer plan. It actually can help prevent pre-eclampsia (high blood pressure), which is a concern in the third trimester & warrant emergency induction/delivery, but it’s super healthy. Here’s a link: Dr. Brewer Diet
To Do: Other than cope with the fact that you are now growing a tiny person inside of you, you have a bit of a To-Do list for this trimester.
Fun: While you won’t need maternity clothing yet (more on that next post), you could treat yourself to a belly band or loop a hair tie to help keep the top of your pants closed if you start bloating. Really, there’s not much “fun” to be had this trimester outside of naps. If you have a spouse/partner, you might want to enjoy a few dates together and try not to talk about the baby all the time. This is really overwhelming for them, too, and the lovely time out with you is relaxing for both of you. Enjoy it.
Annnnnnnnnnnnnnnd that’s a wrap for the first trimester! Did I miss anything?
On to the next…trimester!
Seeing that I’m taking this “must relax more to keep the baby from falling out” thing seriously, it leaves me with a little more time to write. SILVER LININGS, PEOPLE!
So I’ve decided that maybe I should do a few posts on some stuff I’m passionate about-birth, breastfeeding, and cloth diapering. I’m working on them behind the scenes and will likely pop them out soonish…like a real blogger! I know, it’s scary. Don’t worry, I wouldn’t expect any real regular posting.
Basically, I’ve noticed a lot lately with friends and others that we as a society are simply uneducated when it comes to birth and breastfeeding. Cloth diapering also carries some misconceptions as well. I’m not going to pretend to know everything there is about these things, but I’ve found that the more educated I become on it, the better I feel about choices I make. We go with what we hear are the “norms” without really understanding or questioning why. I guess my point of writing these upcoming posts is to encourage other moms to ask WHY and become more involved.
I’m not saying one HAS to birth unmedicated, breastfeed, or cloth diaper; just that perhaps one should be more informed regarding the choices and be INVOLVED in their choices.
So…yeah. That’ll happen. And one day I’ll finish writing Asher’s birth story (my goal is to finish it before he’s two…he’s 17mo now…heh). And maybe I’ll even write Ladybug’s birth story within a year of her birth. Lofty goals, people.
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In other news, last night Asher kept waking up quite a bit. I finally got to the point where I gave up waddling back and forth to his room (which hurts like a bat to the britches, I tell ya! Dang pubic symphysis!) and I decided to bring him back to sleep with me. We slept great till Matt called at 3:30am for 2 minutes to say hello for the day. I was then wide awake for an hour. Asher kept snoring. I fell asleep at 4:30, only to wake at 5 because Asher had woke up and discovered the dogs were snuggled in bed with us. He was gleefully saying “BowBow!” (Bowser is one of our dogs. We occasionally call him BowBow, Asher now calls every dog BowBow). It took some coercing, but I got him back to sleep in his room for 30 min or so.
Things I learned from co-sleeping with my toddler last night?
-THEY DON’T EVEN SIT STILL WHILE SLEEPING.
-You haven’t successfully co-slept with a toddler until you get hit in the face and get a fat lip
-Apparently YOU are a more comfortable pillow than anything else.
-You don’t actually need circulation to live. As evidenced by him sleeping on my throat for part of the night.
-It’s a bit incredible that you can sleep with 26+ pounds draped on you, but you can and it’s semi-restful at that.
-Waking up to snuggles and that cheerful sweet voice is something I will never tire of.
Until next time, y’all!
Behold, your once-every-three-months-update!
I’m 35.5 weeks pregnant. Matt is currently away training. He’s due back 5 days before my due date.
Hence this post. Note: this post is meant to be a therapeutic vent-session, so please do pardon the mess. In fact, I hesitated on publishing it because it’s so personal. But screw it, it’s my personal blog and I should get personal, shouldn’t I?
One of the things I truly hate about when my spouse is away for duty is feeling like I can’t quite tell him everything that’s going on at home. I tell him the facts, but feel I have to minimize the depth of everything to keep him from worrying (seeing as he’s not going to be able to do anything about it, anyway). It’s frustrating.
The three examples of late:
- Facts-I-Tell-My-Husband: Asher is getting his molars and incisors in. Seems not-so-fun. Also, he’s having nightmares again, but I’m able to calm him relatively quickly.
-Actually Happening: Asher screams from pain for about an hour total a day. I’m having mommy guilt about having to give him ibuprofen as the hyland’s tablets work, but aren’t working well enough. Those nightmares? They’re Asher waking up screaming and bawling while saying “dada dada” and looking around for Matt when I come in to soothe him. This has probably been the hardest part of this separation, as Asher is now old enough to know daddy isn’t here, but too young to understand why. I hate that. And I know Matt misses Asher just as badly. (SOON, though, he’ll be back!)
- Facts-I-Tell-My-Husband: Baby girl (have I mentioned that it’s a girl yet on this blog?) has dropped into my pelvis and is currently at Birth Station Zero on my cervix. Basically, whenever I start dilating, she’ll be ready to pop out, which should make for a not-as-long labor. Also, my pubic symphysis (the cartilage between your pelvic bones that separates for birth) is loose, causing my hips to be open & why little lady is so far down already.
-Actually Happening: Holy shit am I in constant discomfort. Sometimes when I lean forward to pick up something/talk to Asher/bend to go pee, I feel like the baby’s head is literally about to start descending into the canal and come out. I feel her on my cervix. I can’t sit up for too long before everything hurts so bad I want to cry. I have to take constant breaks throughout the day and lay down to keep the pressure off. I live in my bathtub at night, as it’s the only way I can relax my muscles enough to sleep more than an hour at a time. I feel like I have to walk like a Geisha with a marble between my ass cheeks to keep my hips from feeling like they’re going to fall apart. It’s 100% not comfortable. I hate that I can’t play with Asher all day like I used to and that my father has to do so much on my behalf. I just want as much snuggle/play time with Asher as possible before our family expands!
- Facts-I-Tell-My-Husband: If I go into labor early and Matt doesn’t make it, it’ll be ok. It’s out of our control anyway.
-Actually Happening: While the facts above are true, I’m a bit of an emotional sack over it. There is nothing we can do to change what’s up. I have hired doulas (which I would’ve anyway, even if he were here, because they can make all the difference!) and have made preparations as if he will not be here. That doesn’t change the fact that I miss my best friend & biggest supporter. My last birth he was a total rock star. I’m serious. He was involved and supportive every step of the way. He was an advocate that helped express my desires when I couldn’t for myself. Not once did I have to worry about him. Not once was he some scared dad in the corner saying “well the doctor said…” or freaking out over every change suggested by a doc. He asked questions every time a doc suggested something not in our original plan and was not going to let us just get played by a doc. My man was a damn rock star. Matt caught Asher. That simple memory of him being the person to remove Asher from me and greet him into this world is the single most beautiful moment of my life. Imagining him not here with me to welcome our daughter is so hard. Especially since we never thought we would have one (his family lineage is very male dominated). This has been so difficult to deal with. And I often feel guilt over these feelings because so many women birth without their partners every day. I feel selfish for being so damn emotional about it.
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I’m attempting to be as positive as I can be throughout these challenges. It’s difficult, but I’m managing. I’m thankful that my father is here helping, because I’d be in a whole other heap of doodiecaca without him! Mostly I’m just praying, practicing positive birth visualizations, and focusing on what I CAN control.
Current mantra: Let it Go.
Seriously, I can’t control the above things, and telling Matt the full weight of it will only make his focus distracted. He’s doing so well out there and I need him to excel and come back to us relaxed. I’ve gotta focus on resting as much as possible to keep the little lady in place and let go of my own stresses.
I’m finding through talking to others that I am not alone in my frustration, as other military spouses go through this “having to minimize the homefront” aspect as well. It’s just a burden we carry as “part of the job”.
Honestly? Writing all this helped a lot. So thanks.
Till next time…(and I swear to johngeorgepaulandringo the next time won’t be so dramatic)
